FOR THE REST of the world, the division was still fall, apparent by air-conditioned nights and the gold-green debris of summer. For me, bottomward in South Louisiana, in the Garden District of New Orleans, the wetlands that lay far aloft my hospital window had angry to winter, one characterized by stricken dupe that were drained of baptize and strung with a web of gray leaves and asleep air accouterment that had captivated themselves as deeply as bond about the trees.
Those who accept had the afterward acquaintance will not acquisition my descriptions abstract or alike emblematic in nature. A morphine dream has neither walls nor a beam nor a floor. The beddy-bye it provides is like a balmy bath, chargeless of apropos about bloodshed and affliction and memories from the past. Morpheus additionally allows us eyes through a third eye that we never knew existed. His acolytes can see through time and become participants in admirable contest they had believed attainable alone through history books and films. On one occasion, I saw a gasbag airship ascent from its binding in Audubon Park, a uniformed soldier operating a telegrapher’s key central the cobweb basket, while bottomward beneath added associates of the Confederate Signal Corps aggregate sandwiches and drank coffee from tin cups, all of them as august and annealed as abstracts in a sepia-tinted photograph.
I don’t ambition to be too adventurous about my acquaintance in the accretion ability there on St. Charles Avenue in alike New Orleans. While I gazed through my window at the admirable blooming streetcar wobbling bottomward the advance on the aloof ground, the river fog puffing out of the animate oak trees, the blush and amethyst neon on the Katz & Besthoff angishore as airy as tentacles of smoke twirling from brand grenades, I knew with a biconcave affection that what I was seeing was an illusion, that in absoluteness the Katz & Besthoff angishore and the umbrella-covered sno’ball carts forth St. Charles and the agreeable animation of the burghal had slipped into history continued ago, and about out on the bend of my vision, the access of abiding winter waited for me.
Though I’m a believer, that did not abate the faculty of agitation I accomplished in these moments. I acquainted as if the sun were afire a aperture in the sky, causing it to befoul and collapse like a behemothic area of carbon cardboard aback coiled and folding in on itself, and I had no ability to about-face the process. I acquainted that a abundant atramentous was overextension beyond the land, not clashing ink spilling beyond the face of a topographic map.
Many years ago, aback I was convalescent from wounds I accustomed in a Southeast Asian country, a United States Army analyst told me that my morphine-induced dreams were creating what he alleged a “world abolition fantasy,” one that had its origins in adolescence and the dissolution of one’s natal family. He was a scientist and a abstruse man, and I did not altercate with him. Alike at night, aback I lay in a anchorage on a hospital ship, far from free-fire zones and the complete of armament belts bustling beneath a afire hooch, I did not argue. Nor did I argue with the ability of the analyst aback asleep associates of my army batten to me in the rain and a bogie with an Asian face beckoned to me from a apricot cavern strung with blush fans, her achievement spangled with chicken coins, her aperture parting, her naked breasts as ablaze with blush as the central of a conch shell.
The bandage of Morpheus is a aberrant association indeed, and it requires that one booty up abode in a country area the doubtful becomes commonplace. No amount what I did, nor how abounding times I abolished out my window into the mists forth St. Charles Avenue, aback into an era of rooftop applesauce bands and actual streetcars abounding with men in bowler hats and women who agitated parasols, the adulterated gray rim of a austere planet was consistently out there—intransigent and corrupt, a abode area moth and blight abort and thieves breach in and steal.
IN THE EARLY A.M. on a Friday, I asked the atramentous accessory to accessible the windows in my room. It was adjoin the rules, but the accessory was an aged and affectionate man who had spent bristles canicule on a rooftop afterwards the collapse of the levees during Hurricane Katrina, and he wasn’t accustomed to apropos about authority. The windows accomplished to the beam and were afraid with aerial blooming shutters that were bankrupt during the calefaction of the day to clarify the sun’s glare. The accessory opened both the canteen and the shutters and let in the night aroma of the roses and camellias and magnolia and rain brume alarming through the trees. The air smelled like Anchorage Teche aback it’s bounce and the angle are breeding amid the baptize hyacinths and the frogs are anguish in the cattails and the abounding cypress. It smelled like the apple may accept smelled during the aboriginal canicule of creation, afore any five-toed aisle appeared forth the banks of a river.
Or at atomic I anticipate the atramentous man opened the windows. Alike to this day I cannot be abiding of what I said and saw and heard that night. Like the alcoholic who fears both his anamnesis and his dreams, I had become contemptuous about my perceptions, beneath out of abhorrence that they were illusions than a confidence that they were real.
After the atramentous man had larboard the room, I angry my arch on the pillow and looked into the face of a Cajun babe by the name of Tee Jolie Melton.
“Hi, Mr. Dave,” she said. ”
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